Fallen Academy: Year Three And A Half (Fallen Academy Book 4) Read online

  What did those murder shows say? That you had forty-eight hours to find the victim before all hope was gone? How many hours had passed?

  “No way in hell!” Shea growled.

  Good. Shea still had some fight in her. I feared that I did not.

  “Well, I’m sorry to say this, but I can’t risk any more of my—” I cut Raphael off with a ragged scream.

  I didn’t know what came over me, but I couldn’t bear to hear him finish that sentence. After crying out in rage, I fled from the room.

  “Lincoln!” Noah called after me.

  My wings snapped out of my back as I burst through the door. They were sore, but not nearly as damaged as before. I must have slept a whole day in the healing ward. A whole day I could have been looking for her.

  “Leave me alone!” I shouted to my best friend, and took to the skies.

  I didn’t know where I was headed, but I instinctively aimed for the ocean. As I flew, every single memory of Brielle raced through my mind so fast that I thought I was going insane. I’d never forget the first time I saw her. Wearing that silky dress at the awakening ceremony, she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Way too young for me, and so strong willed as she stood on stage, and accepted the fact that she was different. Black wings and all.

  The moment those black wings had sprouted from her back, my heart had fallen in my chest. I knew she’d never be a girl I could pursue. She was demon bound, bad, dark, evil. But she wasn’t. She was the best fucking thing that ever happened to me, and judging her in the beginning was the worst mistake I had ever made. I’d never met someone so full of love and light in my life.

  Before I realized it, I landed on the sand, and fell forward, sobbing. I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I was dying.

  Everyone I love dies.

  My entire body seized up in grief, as I came to terms with the fact that Brielle might actually be dead, or kidnapped, or was being tortured … or worse. Everything hurt, but at the same time I couldn’t feel. Like I was having an out of body experience. Like my poor soul couldn’t handle going through this again, so it had jumped out of my body, and was watching from a perch on the moon. I collapsed onto the sand, rolling over, and stared up at the darkening sky.

  “Fuck you!” I screamed at God, the angels, and whoever the hell was listening. This wasn’t any kind of life I wanted to live. I questioned everything in that moment. Right down to my very own existence.

  My chest heaved as my heart hammered at the walls of my sternum. Being so helpless, unable to go into Hell and search for her … it was killing me.

  The rumble of a car approaching drew my attention, but I just didn’t care. When the headlights illuminated my body, I didn’t move. A car door opened and then slammed.

  “Lincoln Grey,” Shea’s voice roared. “Get your ass up!”

  Despite the situation, I smirked a little. There was a reason Brielle loved this girl, and made this girl her family against what their blood might have said. Shea wouldn’t baby me, wouldn’t let me wallow like Noah would. She was stronger than I was, and she was going to pull me right back up and into the real world, even though I didn’t want to go.

  I groaned, and then suddenly she was standing over me.

  “You don’t get to give up!” she shouted, looking down at me. “Brielle is alive. I know it. Why else would Lucifer block me from making a portal to go after her, if he had just killed her? It’s just what he wants us to think, and everyone else is falling for it, but not us. You understand me?”

  Hope bloomed inside my chest, pumping new life into me. She was right. Why would Lucifer do that? Unless he didn’t want us bringing her body back—but no, I couldn’t think like that.

  I sat up, forcing Shea to stumble backwards.

  “Let’s do this. Never give up,” I declared.

  Shea nodded. “Never give up.”

  It was there, on the beach in Santa Monica where I first kissed Brielle, that I made a pact with her best friend to never give up on her.

  I wish I could say that I kept it…

  Chapter Three

  Nearly three months had passed. Every single day Shea and I snuck away, and drove to random locations to open a portal and look for Brielle. We’d even gotten Chloe and Luke to help us. Finally, out of desperation, I snuck Shea into Demon City, where she contacted her old friend who was Sighted. But he had no leads on Brielle, saying that when it came to her future he now saw nothing, which scared the ever living shit out of me. I was giving up. And now Raphael and Brielle’s mom were having a funeral to put her to rest.

  I didn’t want to put her to rest.

  Noah, Raphael, even her mom, they were all trying to let her go when I just wanted to draw her closer.

  Straightening my tie, I looked at myself in the mirror, and didn’t recognize the person before me. When Brielle left I turned to bad habits to numb the pain—too much alcohol and too little sleep. Raph had forced me on a leave of absence.

  I didn’t care if I ever returned.

  My eyes swept the tiny trailer. Everything I saw reminded me of her. Bernie had fled the day Brielle was taken. It was really weird. He just left Maximus with Brielle’s mom, and left the trailer keys under the mat. I couldn’t stand to live in the apartment with Kate. Every time I looked at her, I saw Brielle. The way her nose turned up at the end … I couldn’t. I gave her the apartment to herself and kept a wide distance. But today I wouldn’t be able to avoid her.

  A knock at the door signaled Kate’s arrival. She’d all but begged me to attend this “funeral,” and even asked if we could go together. I’d asked her how we could bury someone without a body, but she just told me that she needed to go on living, and this was how she was going to be able to do it. By letting go.

  The one thing I’d promised Shea I wouldn’t do.

  I opened the door and a sob lodged in my throat. Kate had lost at least fifteen pounds; dark circles hung under her eyes, signaling she was probably getting about as much sleep as I was.

  “Got any vodka?” she asked.

  Her question took me aback. Maybe she wasn’t ready to let her daughter go. I nodded and opened the door wider as she stepped inside, making herself comfortable at my dining table.

  After pulling out some orange juice and vodka, I grabbed two glasses, allowing her to pour. She made two stiff drinks, and tipped hers back in one big swallow.

  “We don’t have to do this,” I told her. Clearly she wasn’t ready. If she said she wanted to back out of burying Brielle, Raphael would call it off in respect.

  She looked at me—hell, she looked through me, right down into my soul. Those piercing blue eyes were the same as my lover’s, and it cut me open.

  “Yes … we do. I have a son to live for. I have you to live for. Shea, Chloe, Luke, they need me. They need us. I can’t go on like this … waiting each night for my phone to ring. Every time you call me I hold my breath, wondering if it’s news that you’ve found her.”

  I winced. I did the same thing every time Noah or Raph called me.

  “I … I just can’t. Not without seeing a body.” My voice caught, and she reached across the table, grasping my hand.

  “I understand that. No mother should ever have to bury a child, but it’s the only way I can move on from this. Otherwise…” She paused and tears leaked from her eyes. “Otherwise I might feed into the dark thoughts beckoning me, and I know Brielle wouldn’t want that. I need to do what’s best for me. Funerals aren’t for the dead, they’re for the living, and I want to live.”

  There was strength in Kate that I’d never noticed before Brielle’s disappearance. The same strength that I imagine got her through her husband’s death, and raising three kids in Demon City while being a slave—one of those kids not even biologically hers.

  She was stronger than I, that was for sure. I was starting to let the dark thoughts get to me. The same thought had plagued me for the past week:

  What if I kill myself and go to Hell…? Then c
ould I find her…

  Shaking myself I poured another drink.

  Kate gripped my hand again, meeting my eyes. “I know you and Brielle were only promised and never got a chance to marry, but I want you to know I’ve already accepted you as my son. If you need anything, I’m here. For life.”

  Her words should have made me feel better, but a sharp pang sliced through my heart until I was breathless. It took me a second to figure out what it was…

  It was the realization that my beautiful future with Brielle had been taken from me.

  Marriage, kids, in-laws, all of it.

  Gone.

  I jumped up from the seat. “Let’s get this over with.” I couldn’t sit here like this with her. It was too much.

  She nodded and stood, looking around my trailer.

  “You know, I can live in the trailer if you want your big apartment back.” Her voice was soft, timid.

  I waved my hand. “No, it’s fine. I like it here.”

  It was solitary here. I could spend days without seeing anyone.

  She nodded, and with that we set out to bury the love of my life. With no body.

  I thought I could do it. I really did. But when we walked up and my gaze fell on the headstone … Brielle’s name, right next to her father’s…

  I froze.

  Kate went ahead and started to greet people. Shea was weeping as Noah held her. And I just … I couldn’t do it.

  “Son, it’s time to move forward.” Raphael’s strong voice sounded from behind me as he reached for me. “The world needs you.”

  I didn’t want to go forward, I wanted to go back to that night and cut the Devil’s head right the fuck off.

  “Screw the world!”

  Shrugging out of Raph’s grasp, I snapped my wings out—tearing my jacket—and with one kick, I took off for the skies.

  I wouldn’t lay her to rest until I had a body.

  If that meant never, then never it would be.

  Chapter Four

  After Brielle’s fake funeral, I spiraled. Shea and I were doing more and more dangerous missions to try to get information about Brielle. The time had come when I’d have to stop dragging my woman’s best friend down with me. I didn’t want to lose her too. She was the only one who understood me, the only one who didn’t judge me for hiding in my trailer with a bottle of vodka.

  A knock at my door signaled Shea’s approach. We were set to do another portal mission tonight. This time Shea got Luke and Angela to go too. Last time Chloe got hurt and I couldn’t bear to have my fiancée’s friends hurt trying to find her. I needed to let them go, and go off on my own, but I had no idea how to break this to them.

  “Come in!” I croaked.

  The trailer door burst open and Shea ran in, flushed face, and tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “She’s alive!” she screamed.

  In her hand was the wedding ring she’d asked me for last night. She’d noticed the box on my nightstand, and when I mentioned I’d bought her promise ring as a set—with a matching wedding ring to give at a later date—she’d flipped. Said she could do some kind of magic on it. Now my heart was pounding so loud that it felt like it was in my head.

  “What do you mean?” I shouted.

  Shea was trying to control her breathing. “It’s advanced magic that Claymore taught me. The two rings were made of the same metal, so I created a tether between them. One for this ring…” She held it up. “And one—”

  “For the one on her finger!” I shouted, standing quickly, and being overcome with dizziness.

  Shea swallowed down a sob. “Linc … I heard her. I swear on all the bliss donuts in the world. I fucking heard her!”

  I couldn’t move. My legs went weak and I let myself collapse as relief crashed through me.

  “Where is she?”

  Shea’s face darkened then, and I knew this story wasn’t going to have a happy ending.

  “Someone blocked it. I heard her for a second and then … poof, the connection was gone.”

  “Try again!”

  “I have! It’s a dead end now, but Linc … I heard her.” Shea’s voice, her wide brown eyes … they said, “Believe me.”

  “Are you sure?” I was skeptical. Shea was in as much of a dark place as I was. It was only a matter of time before we started hearing Brielle’s voice and talking to her.

  Shea’s jaw clenched as anger masked her features. “Don’t you dare do that. I get enough shit from Noah. I can’t have that from you too.” Tears welled in her eyes, and my heart ached to see her so vulnerable.

  Standing, I pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Of course I believe you.”

  I really wanted to. It left a dangerous feeling gaping inside my chest. Hope.

  For months I tried to tell myself to move on, she was gone. Now I felt stuck. Now my heart was screaming…

  Don’t let her go!

  Shea pulled back and wiped the tears from her eyes. “So what are we going to do?”

  I knew what I needed to do, and it couldn’t involve her.

  I ran a hand through my hair. “This is great news. I just … need a night to adjust. Let’s make a new plan tomorrow?”

  Her brow wrinkled, looking down at the ring—it killed me to see it. I’d imagined in a few years I’d give it to Brielle and beg her to marry me. Now it was … just a painful reminder.

  “Yeah, sure thing. Get some rest.” Shea finally relented, nodding.

  I walked her out, waiting until she drove away in Brielle’s car, then I rushed to my motorcycle. We’d tried everything up till this point. It was time for desperate measures. I had one final plan up my sleeve. Swinging a leg over my motorcycle, I took off for Demon City.

  I’d withdrawn all my cash from my savings account weeks ago. $4,862. My Fallen Army paychecks were still coming in—even though I wasn’t on active duty—but I made sure Brielle’s mother had groceries delivered to the apartment every week, and that the utilities were all taken out of my check. I couldn’t take care of Brielle, but I could at least care for her family. Financially anyway. So assuming Raph still sent my checks while I was on leave, they would be taken care of. I needed this money in my jacket for other things.

  Before getting to the gates of Demon City, I took a left turn down a neighborhood and parked my bike. This was an incognito mission. I was going to have to fly over, and try to go unnoticed. My buddy in the army knew a Mugwort demon named Gaf, who would take money in exchange for various dangerous operations. I was going to find this guy, and make him go into the underworld to bring back any information he could about Brielle. If Angel City wasn’t yielding answers for me, then I’d have to go to the demons for help.

  Kicking off the ground, I sailed over the fence quickly, before retracting my wings and then taking off into a sprint. Demon guards weren’t really concerned with a single trespasser so much as an entire infiltration. Still, I’d have to be careful. A Fallen Academy captain trespassing would be seen as an act of war.

  The moment I landed, it felt like a thousand needles were stabbing into my skin. All this demon energy took its toll on my Celestial body. I wouldn’t be able to stay here long. Being a Celestial was usually something I was proud of, but in these moments, in moments where I couldn’t search the underworld for the love of my life, it was a curse I wanted to be free of desperately. I was a prisoner of my own body.

  After popping into a liquor shop, I bought two nice bottles of brandy to tempt the Mugwort demon with, and now my total was down to about $4,700. A young kid outside was renting out bikes by the hour, so I grabbed one in the hopes it would be quicker. I couldn’t risk getting a cab and being recognized, and time was not on my side. It felt like the pain doubled every minute; eventually I’d be incapacitated.

  As I started to ride, it began to rain—as it often did in Demon City. After riding for a few minutes towards the address my friend had given me, I passed a familiar parking lot and stopped dead in my tracks. The bike’s t
ires skidded across the wet pavement, and my hand came up to my throat at the memory of this place.

  This was the parking lot of the reanimation clinic where I’d fought for Brielle’s freedom. The same place where she’d boldly, and stupidly, heaved Michael’s sword onto the ground and declared she was fighting for Shea’s freedom. It was the moment I’d fallen in love with her, the moment I’d promised myself I’d break every rule I had to, to get this girl to be mine. I’d never looked at her the same after that day. I’d never forgiven myself for initially judging her. She was the fiercest, most loyal and courageous woman I’d ever met.

  The blaring of a car horn brought me back to the task at hand, and with a final lingering look at the parking lot, I pushed off my bike and rode the rest of the way in painful silence. The needles pressing in on my skin had now become like little fires erupting all over my body. I couldn’t stay here much longer; the demon energy had become stronger lately. Rumor at the Army was that Lucifer was sending new demons through to the city. Different varieties were arriving by the hundreds. Since I was on leave, I didn’t hear the specifics, but I could feel the change here. It was big.

  I reached the address, and ditching the bike on the pavement, I leapt up the stairs, banging on the brown door.

  “Who’s there?” a grisly voice called out with a slight slur.

  I’d never met a sober Mugwort demon.

  “Grady sent me. I’ve got money and liquor.” The rain was really coming down now and I decided that if he didn’t open the door I’d kick it down and take him hostage until he did as I asked. I was desperate.

  The door swung open and a shotgun was pressed onto my chest.

  “Liquor first,” the ugly bastard called out to me.

  Old Lincoln would feel fear at having a gun to his chest, but this Lincoln didn’t care. I felt no anxiety at being threatened with death, and that scared me. I shoved the bag at him. Once he checked it and confirmed it was indeed alcohol, he opened the door a smidge wider, but didn’t take the shotgun off my chest.